I had only two requests from God when I accepted this gift-
1) Lord, please don’t have ghosts poppin’ up... They can come to me in a dream, I don’t mind feeling their emotions or presence, I don’t mind seeing them in my premonitions- but don’t have them poppin’ up in my dining room table like in that movie w/ Whoopie Goldberg and that ghost following her around every where!
2) God, don’t have me out here lookin’ crazy.
That’s it! TWO requests and I gave up my very normal boring life a year ago.
Now, today was the first time that I actually had a premonition where I held back from telling someone about it fully, where I omitted a fact about the vision. (Usually I get diarrhea of the mouth and just blirt it all out.) Today I felt the need to hold back. To me there was just this one small part that wouldn’t have made a huge difference any how. It was more directed to my ability. So I left it out. Besides - I mentioned #2, didn’t I? I tell ya even if I trust God’s mission for me 1000%... Ugh! Just here’s my rant to God this morning:
”Really God? You gonna have me out here lookin’ crazy?” (Notice my ol’ Southern country twang comes out when I’m frazzled?) “Nope, no Sir, nu uh, naw... Naw! I’m not saying that! Listen, I still need to walk around and function in this world without folks thinkin’ I’ve lost my ever lovin’ mind! C’mon Goood! You need to give me this one- I’m practically Mother Theresa running around here helping folks cuz you’re whisperin’ in my ear. I’m putting my foot down on this one... Sir. ...Please ...May I & Thank you.”
Yup, if you’re telling God what you’re NOT gonna do for him, ya best be using your manners! Lol. (Don’t act like yah’ll don’t talk to God like that.) It’s ok, he has a crazy sense of humor!
And so I used my freewill. I figured if the big guy really wanted them to know what I omitted he’d do the great reveal himself... right? At the end of the day my premonitions are always about what’s definitely going to happen and I know I can warn others so I can prepare them for it. It’s not like with Tarot, the cards guide me on your current path and I give a hint of a possibility to your future based on my intuition, yet the one I’m reading always has the opportunity to pave their path differently. A premonition is a HUGE responsibility.
I’m just trying to get by like everyone else, stay loyal in my faith & help others. Crazy will have to wait for another day!
My close friends warned me that you can’t pick and choose what part of this gift you accept. I started this business wanting to help others, to spread hope and JOY as a thank you to God for the gift he gave me. My loved ones warned me that spirits would pop up and messages would catch me off guard. It’s simply a part of the same world. Turns out I can’t turn away spirits either- my heart’s too soft. No matter my intentions, bad things happen and I can’t stop them as everyone has free-will, but I can warn folks where I can. I’ve been crazy busy lately doing just this. A lot of health issues have popped up with my close loved ones and it’s been a lot to manage as I am still new to this. This has always been my greatest fear with this- KNOWING with out a doubt something is wrong with my family and not being able to control it. Then multiply that a few times more- that’s been me the past few weeks. My most trusted support team that know all the secrets I carry of my gift is small but mighty and I can’t thank them enough. They’ve kept me sane through all this. It can be a lot and often folks are psychics, but I got the double whammy- I’m a psychic AND an empath so I feel the impact of everything- what I say, what I don’t, of what happens and what remains after. All I can do is ride this out as I am committed to this and accept that there’s good and bad in everything- even a gift. There are still blessings to be found with it. When I’m balling my eyes out because I know someone is really sick I have to remember that God is still giving me the gift of knowing so I can appreciate the time we have left with them. It’s all about your response to the challenges you face day-to-day. Realizing we all have a purpose and a season.