As much as I want to deny certain aspects of this gift I was given- I realize my purpose is bigger than my fear of losing my current life’s ‘normal’ picture. If you follow my site or me on social media, you know my hard limit are spirits. I put my foot down on any spirit readings and was adamant about JUST helping the living. What happens when the spirit world wants to help the living and use you to do it?
Yep, this was my morning.
Last night I fell asleep thanking God for my gift that allowed me to save my family & home yesterday. I woke up early and checked my Instagram messages and checking the feed I see a fellow psychic praising a Spirit Medium class they recently took saying it changed them forever. I google the place not even knowing where the poster was from and find the class is held in an institute ONE HOUR away from my home. The odds! It freaked me out. It was another not so subtle message to me to get help with this. Shutting down Instagram I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. I don’t fear ghosts- I just don’t want the two worlds to cross for me.
When I couldn’t sleep, I tried to capture my ‘awake visions’ to see if I could strengthen it. So I close my eyes. Immediately I’m looking at a laptop image, where prior to I would get my visions through something similar to a Facebook feed... Curious I watch the old photos. They weren’t of my family. They were happy & celebrating a baby’s birth. There was a large spot empty where everyone gathered around smiling and a mother figure looked over longingly towards that spot. In the picture a tall white male appeared in the empty spot. I just watched curiously as he smiled watching her happily, with love & pride. Just watching over her. I didn’t know who these people really were, the picture was vague. I just watched fascinated as it faded in and out of clarity.
My eyes open and clear as the day that greeted me out the window I knew. I knew who he was. I knew what he was trying to tell me and I knew without a doubt what his message was to his wife that moved on with a family of her own after he had been killed on the line of duty. I sat crying like a baby while I wrote down all the details before I blocked it out. I feared the absolute worst when I was finally connected with (beyond a spirit throwing cards at me). I didn’t know what to expect, but he was ever so gentle and kind with his approach. It just made me smile. I knew exactly how. He used a nearby laptop’s energy to connect with mine. We are all just energy and we use it to communicate with one another. Just because we pass from this world it doesn’t mean that energy just ceases to exist. It doesn’t mean we stop loving our loved ones. He used me to send a message to his wife. After the sweet realization I began to worry. There’s no coincidences. I have my gift specifically because God wants me to help folks through their worse times. I sent someone to check on her and hopefully give her the comfort of his sweet message of love.
Everything happens for a reason. Everything.
There’s no doubt my gift is cool, but it comes with responsibility I wasn’t prepared for. From my empath ability to my premonitions- nothing is easy. I can feel others’ emotions, but that doesn’t mean that I have a right to that knowledge. People still have a right to their privacy and emotions without having someone act on them without their permission. I can’t choose to not ‘feel’, so I deal with it however I can. I spend a lot of it pretending to be none the wiser to make others more comfortable.
Funny, I spent most of my life ignoring this part of me and now that I’m accepting of it- I still have to hide the gift. I’m not oblivious to the fact that there are non-believers, people who doubt me, people that dislike me personally apart from my gift, and folks that simply do not understand this. I feel it all. Folks are honest and say they just don’t want to know anything. It’s not my responsibility to change them, make them believe or make them like me- but I must respect their decision to not want to engage in any of this, so I never press.
I’m often asked, “What happens when you get a premonition of someone who isn’t interested in the knowledge?” That’s the moral dilemma for me. I’ve learned that with family & friends I have a responsibility to look after them but also to respect their wishes. I operate under the- “whatever-allows-me-to-sleep” rule. If I know there’s something major that’s going to happen and they are able to change it in order to avoid the occurance I will tell them. It will be their decision on what to do about it or to ignore me altogether- but I know, for me, I have this gift so I can help others. As mentioned before, everyone has freewill.
It is fun though. ☺️ When you’re chatting with someone and your BS meter goes off. It’s a huge responsibility to hold that kind of truth in. Or knowing someone is nervous around you in the work place when they are a higher rank than you. I giggle when folks at work say, “You must be psychic!” when I answer something before being asked. What’s not fun is knowing someone is cheating on their spouse and having to call them out on it because they asked you for help but they are with-holding the truth as a test. It’s heartbreaking when someone asks about a pregnancy and you know it’ll happen for them but first they’ll go through more heartache first. It sucks when your friend is upset at you and you feel their disdain for you at a gathering. I think of it as a blessing- some folks can’t tell at all. I just have to be careful not to share too much that I overstep boundaries.
Reality is that there’s a huge responsibility, but I’m learning to adapt to it. I deal with it by focussing people on the good, on hope and their blessings. I can’t protect anyone from life’s challenges that are truly meant for them in order to grow. It’s not for me to touch. I can just help make folks journey easier where I can.